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Horse of a Different Tullar

by Carpal Tullar

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nicklsm Top-notch writing, musicianship, production, and recording. Laugh out loud lyrics and musical humor makes this my favorite album in a long, long time!
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1.
Enter to Win 01:10
2.
Aleister be good could you keep it to yourself Just when I got to be thinking of something else How could it be you could do that to a friend To leak it out and make both of us sick again Moment of reality is playing in my head Whoever thought there’d be a day I’d be sick of it And though at one point I was into it I know I’m only waiting for the moment the moment goes Every moment goes and every moment goes and Every time I talk to you every time I listen It shook the Earth back when it came rolling in Where did it come from when did this shit begin It could be worse it could be Celine Dion It could be Ironic or that Down in a Theater song Moment of reality is playing in my head Whoever thought there’d be a day I’d be sick of it And though at one point I was into it I know I’m only waiting for the moment the moment goes Some can hear the ocean lying in their bed Some only quiet ringing in the head But my advice to all the neophytes I know is Stay the hand Stay down on the hand don’t wait to understand it No need to talk and save your intuition I never thought there would be venom in my head No way to drive it out no hope to rein it in You underestimate menace of a song With half a melody and all the words are gone Some can hear the ocean lying in their bed Some only quiet ringing in the head But my advice to all the neophytes I know is Stay the hand
3.
My Iron Lung 03:44
The Struggle to keep up above the ground Had got me holding all the able-bodied down In my former life I had renown The folks at home were thinking I'd be home by now But in my iron lung in and out of town I go I'm like the tide Better dead than hung but in this case I'll boldly wager not to die No belief for me was ever too impossible Better send me on to ride into the sun If it can be done in my iron lung The trouble with my life was up til now A vivid lack of wherewithal to get around Shrunken up a cripple here inside Look at me now I'm rolling out I'm three feet wide In my iron lung I'll be gallivanting out and on the town There's only one direction to go when you start from on the ground No belief for me was ever too impossible Better send me on to ride into the sun If it can be done in my iron lung I'm so completely over it Don't call me the gimp or invalid If it's a freak you want then entschuldigung my bittersweet friend Don't stay for the chase awaits in it Don't stray to deface the grace in it Who let the sun out it used to shine in but they found a better place for it I found a better place in it I made a great escape of it Good comes to the folks who wait for it Don't make it about what you make of it Come Tuesday office hours it's a getaway I'll make a better break for it The Struggle to keep up above the ground Had got me holding all the able-bodied down In my former life I had renown The folks at home were thinking I'd be dead by now But in my iron lung I'd be sorry if I didn't ever try Better said than done if you'd rather lie in place and rot than ride No belief for me was ever too impossible Better send me on to ride into the sun If it can be done in my iron lung
4.
Silver hair turns silverer where I go Calm in darkness quietly grim I glow Jimsonweed and Urtica seeds I sow In my garden where the deceptions grow Drenched in black I crack a grin At lackluster endings Free advice I know what's important Grief this year is trending Symphony of inadequacy maestro Bird in hand and one in the pan eyes closed Flowers wilt in synchrony where I've been Clenching, seething, it won't be if but when Building up I laugh at it Flimsy lath and plaster Deep in thought I know where to hide the Switch from tears to laughter This year is trending toward lackluster endings
5.
The Sniper 03:31
The sniper doesn't snipe within the valley A Wendy doesn't sit under a Holly Tree She hollers at the poplar and the evergreen And she won't have to wait too long and don't I know A situation gone from bad to worse I try to laugh at it but when I smile it hurts I stumble through the chorus and I hide the verse And we won't have to wait too long and don't I know Don't I know the end is near and don't I know it Don't I know the answer clear no need to show it Don't I know the wind of change has come don't blow it Throw the whole thing out turn it around I know Old soldiers never die they all just fade away The butcher won't be butching on a holiday I guess that I'll go meatless and eat crow today And we won't have to wait too long but don't I know Don't I know the movement of the Earth is slowing Don't I know of that uneasy feeling growing Don't I know the bold direction I'm not going Throw the whole thing out turn it around I knoooow let's turn the whole thing on its head I knoooow let's put the dream back in its head. I knoooow let's put the anarchy to bed Don't ever tell me to get over it I know bum bum bum bum The smoke that doesn't rise out of a smoking gun Won't ever get to be put in another one And if you can't be quiet then you should learn to run And we won't have to wait too long and don't I know Don't I know the end is near and don't I know it Don't I know the ancients gone before bestow it Don't I know the wind of change has come don't blow it Throw the whole thing out turn around I know
6.
I save my breakfast for my bathroom break I save my breakfast for the bath I'm resurrected by a coffee cake, Mr. Bubble, and a country ham But there's a breast of a chicken in an inch of oil frying in a frying pan And with the help of a butter biscuit it may yet Turn a several minute soak into an hour and a half For my lunch I’ll have a steak a day for dessert I’ll have a tender baby calf I cut my baby teeth on baconnaise, Mrs. Butterworth, and half and half You declare it unhealthy when I eat my fill of triple burger on a doughnut bun But with the wealth of a lipid I can fill myself What you say may be true but isn’t any fun Forty years I've been taking what I want myself but I’m not out trolling to find out what you’ll hand me Though I hear civil liberties aren’t what they used to be I’m not open enough for understanding I save my supper for the golden age the golden arches or corral It doesn’t have to be a holiday, there doesn’t have to be a rationale It could be years I may suffer I could kill myself I don't need you to hold my hand But if it's true what I eat is going to kill me young I guess I better buckle down I’d better eat it fast
7.
Lava La Ropa 01:39
Lava la ropa Warsh the clothes, hon Arregla mi camisa Fix my nightshirt, babe Quitate tu piyama Y vamos a la cama Let's get to bed dear, yeah Don't make me wait here, yeah Pup, pup, pup. Prepara la comida Ganate la vida Por que no en la cocina A donde vas con la cuchilla Don't you kill me
8.
Set fire to the bedroom I've been in there learning how to hold my breath On the outside bug-eyed but inside I will fake my death In time they'll rewrite my lines if you can write it better be my guest On the outside bug-eyed but inside I will fake my death On the other side of my backdoor is an impatient and perverted world And on the inner side of it my coat and in the pocket is a goodbye note A body on the floor that learned to stop the pulses in the wrist and throat Fake blood or a basement flood I'll find the way that it will turn out best On the outside bug-eyed but inside I will fake my death [Solo] Shot, drowned, or beat up I've found the only way for me to get some rest I suspect I'll perfect the best effect to fake my death Just try to dig me up my lie you'll never find me at my new address On the outside bug-eyed but inside I will fake my death
9.
I've got bushes in my yard 30 inches from my house Oh, I'm a good citizen I'm focused on my lawn I cut all my crooked branches I never smoke at home I shovel snow from the sidewalk until it's three feet wide I fold my Tar Heel flag into a triangle When it's out of use I hide it from my son I've got my sprinkler system on a timer I only water at night Though some would say I'm fortunate to be here I earn my keep, my position on this street But there's something on this street that doesn't smell nearly as sweet Winnebago in the driveway that hasn't moved in weeks When it comes to grass and neighbors I think most will agree I know when I see a hybrids and when I see a weed Your name came up last weekend in a meeting And what was said wasn't nice I find your lack of dogs a bit unnerving Your personality dry And your TV can be seen across the street And you don't use Christmas lights I'm the president of the neighborhood association, my consecration I'm the grandson of the law and I'll catch you up I'll walk to your house and I'll confront you to give you another notice of what you owe this time I will keep everything like everything else We've all noticed your Caprice leaking something on the driveway A neighbor down the street noticed your check engine light And as I drove by your house several times the other night I happened to look up and could see into your blinds And yes I see you mow your lawn in circles The other lawns are in lines What were you thinking hanging up your laundry Out on a line to dry For what it's worth you can still worship the Earth But you'll have to be inside I'm the president of the neighborhood association, I'm losing patience I'm the grandson of the law and I'll catch you up I'll walk to your house and I'll confront you to give you another notice a final notice I'm gonna keep everything like everything else
10.
Cannonball 02:43
I used to lead a life and bake in the sunlight How did that become nigh on impossible I don a daily noose but when they turn me loose I grope along the hall and to the card-protected door like a Cannonball I spray into the air like aerosol I slip into the lot like adderol, caaan- I'll arrive alive albeit after five When my dismantled body crumples on the kitchen floor When I turn in at night I don't turn out a light To furnish an illusion of more time to kill Cannonball evaporating off like alcohol Escaping from the building like a criminal, caaan- You say consider Jim you sould be more like him Watch him as he's working on an Easter Sunday night But Jim could kill the lion or drive an '03 Scion And either way be boring and predictable Not like cannonballs I'm bouncing out the door and down the hall An animated pitcher breaking through the wall Cannonball I spray into the air like aerosol Appearing at the door like a curtain call Cannonball evaporating off like alcohol I'm water falling off of a waterfall caaan-
11.
Misery 04:03
Misery loves company do you love me like I love me Now that I'm set free to be myself You said that the problem was in my head and to get over it I'll take my best friends with me instead Misery looked so strange to me Through suburban life and plugin potpourri Didn't you expect it would be through death Some folks leave and we salute them Some stay and we pollute them If I were them I'd be dead to me 'Cause everything is white and black to me Will they come to pronounce that it's dead and it's gone Misery (misery) and the third degree (my only friend) Coming up on what this circus was supposed to be But why can't you and I be me instead
12.
We are the lucky ones the ones who made it farther than the unlucky ones The ones who made their lifestyle fun—ner than the unlucky ones The ones who inched their way out front We know a lot of songs If we were to play’em all it’d take really long And you’d be sick when we were done So we don’t play all of ‘em And when we’ve finished what we had to say We get off stage and drive away We don’t play encores No matter how you beat upon the floor Us to our house or on our door We don’t play encores We don’t play encores We play to the lucky ones the ones who stripped their title from the unlucky ones The ones who inched their way out front

about

All songs written, arranged, performed, and recorded by Chris Tullar in Swannanoa, NC. Pedal steel guitar on We Don't Play Encores performed by Scott Murray of Asheville, NC.

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released March 15, 2017

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Carpal Tullar Asheville, North Carolina

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