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Ore

by Carpal Tullar

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1.
This catastrophe belongs to you And though we’re wearing out more than I can say That is so hard And though the answer lies barely steps away That old blowhard That old blowhard That old blowhard This catastrophe belongs to you
2.
All These Love Songs that I've been writing All these poems too Though they've helped make me what I've become None of them was true Sit tight watch and I’ll assemble one Like a mockingbird mocks the other song In real life I played it safe at home In real life I married young, I married young All these songs of unrequited love Effervescent youth All the heartbreak and the making up Simply not the truth All this talk about getting it on I've got the same old chops I've been working on In my mind I’ve got a spurious song I never thought to crank out an honest one not even one I could be in your eyes king of the swingers I never relayed to you a lonely tone In reality a ring on the finger And a quiet night old folks at home There were never any lonely blues I didn’t ever have to fill anyone else’s shoes There was never a jet plane never a train I never heard a lonely whistle blow that caused me pain I go to work every day and then whatever they pay me Goes in an account and it gets saved away If you ever needed me I won’t be out on the road I’ll be Wherever it is a pair of albatrosses go All These Love Songs that I've been writing All these words I cry Inside out I give them what they want But what they want is lies All these pet names were uninvited Who said she can’t find a better man All this smoke that got them so excited All my smokescreen is second hand All these love songs that I’ve been writing All these love songs that I’ve been writing
3.
Every time I walk a bit closer I been caught getting closer I’ve been lacking in closure I found out she’s a coaster With a trust fund and she never had to labor a day in her life Don’t forget that you’ll be disposable you could be replaced before you run out of face to save Because she’s a coaster she does it over and over again Never turn your back on a soldier Never put your gun in a holster Never show neglect for your health And never blatantly tend to every whim like a moth to the light Situation crumbling how high You know that she’ll say jump you’ll say how high You’ll say how high, you’ll say how high again Seven pick yourself up eleven cop a feel and it’s over when it’s over She’s a coaster, they fall for her over and over again Never turn your back on a stranger Never put your god in a manger Never poke around for a ghost Or does this suffering haunt you to remind you that you’re still alive Situation crumbling how high You know she will say jump you’ll say how high You’ll say how high, you’ll say how high again Everybody knows she’s a coaster, a coaster You can look but don’t get in any closer She's a coaster, she's a coaster And she’ll toss you out of bed like a toaster Clowns are to the left of me jokers to the right of me floating on her air Stumble or a stagger if mind is under matter then this one doesn’t care about you can’t you see Every time I walk a bit closer I’ve been caught getting closer I’ve been lacking in closure I found out she’s a coaster She does it over and over again Situation crumbling how high You know that she’ll say jump you’ll say how high You’ll say how high, you’ll say how high again to you get right again
4.
They say we didn’t win in the great debacle we’ve been in But we did, but if we did then why’m I so They said could this be it you don’t ever get a chance like this But we did, but if we did then why’m I so moving on They say we didn’t win and that we made the bed we’re sleeping in But we did, but if we did then why’m I so They say to cheat’s a sin you know as if a cheater couldn’t win But we did, but if we did then why’m I so not enough They say we didn’t try enough didn’t die enough we didn’t live They say that they may know what the trouble is They say we didn’t rise enough didn’t sink enough we didn’t swim They say that we should go the way we came in They say we didn’t fit but I don’t think I ever said we did But we did, but if we did then why’m I so quiet They said to take it in we won’t be invited back again But we did, but if we did then why’m I so fucking what
5.
6.
I quit my future and I put myself to work I laid waste to real life and I put fantasy first I’ve walked in circles I’ve not known where to begin At the end of the forest you can see where you’ve been And I see it, I see the end No need to suffer with what hasn’t happened yet From the hilltops and towers you can see more than you get It’s not a compliment to say it could be worse At the end of the act won’t be the time to rehearse And I see it, I see the end I saw the future and I wasn’t part of it So broke out of the present in fits Sometimes the ending of the chorus is the end could the end of this chorus be the bridge I’d suffer quietly but who’d tell me to stop I made waves like a lion but I hit with a flop I found the outcome was far worse than I’ll admit At the end of the chorus you should cease and desist And I see it I see the end
7.
Black metal is the name of our genre Like a musical lasagna, anger layered with speed Though the hate that you see, it’s for show it’s not me Ours is a labor of love, ours is a labor of love
8.
TSA 03:25
Don’t make me miss this connection I’ve got to seize the day and the night With a citronella candle and a knife in pockets of the jeans that fit me too tight I kick off my shoes as I enter the room And I can see you’re not the nice type Off with the shirt, you say, unfasten your belt You're the next one in line When the lights are right in the airport You can virtually strip me, you’re the bad sort How do I look under the X-rays And how do you feel about my man gaze When you take me aside to your sniffing machine Tell me do I smell like a dream You beckon me on toward the runway T---S---A Let's make this a quick one I'm late But this won't be a plane date I fancy that full cavity search I don't even have teeth that hurt You watch me as I pour it on to be strong Eight ounces or less I’m into those brute fantasy clothes But there’s something else to be pressed When the lights are right in the airport You can virtually strip me, you’re the bad sort How do I look under the X-rays And how do you feel about my man-gaze When you take me aside to your sniffing machine Tell me do I smell like a dream You beckon me on toward the runway T---S---A
9.
God rest his soul, Grandfather said that there’s a language of love That there’s a virtue in the wait and reward in the chase And it’s a bitch to recover when she flutters away Though it’s a treasure to behold when you win the embrace When you love someone there’s humble grace Now that he’s dead and we found out that we can win it for free And we can bump and grind with anyone that we meet I know what you’re thinking but they want it too no sweat they’re doooown And if your gum loses its flavor take another stick If you’re sick of washing dishes use paper plates We’ll dump ’em if we ever get used to them And if it shoots it must be a gun and if it kills it must be a real one He also said there’s a code A proper way to behave and to abate what you say When there’s nothing impressive coming down the pipe Build each other up and turn the dark into light When hateful’s how you like to be don’t be how you like But now he’s gone we no longer have his breath on our necks Now that his chapter is done we’re clamoring for the next Who can blame me if get a little up in your face Or ramp a situation up if I’ve got power to play Grampa’s antiquated system couldn’t ever have worked Cause if we’re building others up how can we put us first We’ll gut ‘em if they ever get rude to us And if it squeals it must be a pig and if it moves we’ve got to dispatch it I’ll move on if I ever get used to it If I feel it must be real we’ll have to find more drugs to erase it Grandfather said if there’s a lesson to take From all the off-handed late night seasoned advice It’s to get off of the roller coaster lie of yourself And to be mindful of someone else When I’m dead and this advice of mine is nagging on Hold onto it like you were glued to it And if it shoots it must be a gun and if it kills it must be a real one
10.
The Whole 01:35
The whole is greater than the sum of the parts But some of the parts don’t agree with that And if you call for it to pick and choose The sum of the parts will have a hole in it The math won’t ever work out for you when you choose, pick and choose The parts make up a colonnade The whole has to fashion a roof for them If one’s gone you’ll see the roof collapse On the whole it’s no good for them And that won’t ever work out for you when you choose pick and choose The whole
11.
I was in a parking lot an hour away when I saw a sign On a Chevy Silverado that pulled in from behind A man stepped out of considerable weight A bleak voice old and dry said I’m Edwin I’ve gambled on Jesus and cattle We’re family owned and it’s fragile It may not be much but it’s mine We are the Christian Cattlemen We made a home out on the range We are the men who are tending cattle You’ve got to have faith Because the Lord don’t favor us There ain’t a promise in this land It took a Davie county saddle to make me understand I guess you’ve never worked a single day in your life I can see you’ve got a liberal mind But it’s heaven, a heavenly sight, Heaven, a heavenly sight Heaven, a heavenly sight and it’s hell There was once a family forest on the land until we cut it down There was a family homestead standing, burned it to the ground What we lack in etiquette we make up by the pound But it’s heaven, a heavenly sight and it’s hell We are the Christian Cattlemen We made a home out on the range We are the men who are tending cattle You’ve got to have faith Because the Lord don’t favor us There ain’t a promise in this land Though we invoke the name of Jesus he’s not ours to command No one keeps a ledger book of current events But there’s a mountain of political bias But it’s heaven, heavenly sight Heaven, heavenly sight Heaven, heavenly sight, and it’s hell
12.
Pack it in the moment’s already gone I found it such a relief you found it such a mess Inside you can never do wrong It’s only what you let out that you’re depending on The way to be certain a future is cracking And whether it is is only half a guess Is weigh your reaction and allow it to happen And hope that it does and only hope that it does There’s no need fake it with directionless passion Whatever it is it won’t have been enough Just wait and be patient secede from your nation And let there be good just try to let there be good If you do, if you do And leave perfection behind You’ll end, upend Into the wind open wide Off and on you reinvented yourself Though yourself was a thing that was complete enough Listen closer to you And you won’t have to relive all of the harder parts Don’t wait to be certain or give in to inaction Don’t wait for the breaker to be high enough But weigh your reaction and allow it to happen And hope that it does and only hope that it does Wait and be patient secede from your nation Too hard to know, to hard to know Weigh your reaction and allow it to happen Too hard to know

credits

released December 22, 2020

Music written, arranged, performed, recorded, and mixed by Chris Tullar. Mastering by Phil Stevenson of Night World Records.
Album drawings and layout by Chris Tullar. Special thanks to John McKinney, Dave Baker, and Rob Heyer for being the live act, and for help with the mix.

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