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The Shimmering Masterpie

by Carpal Tullar

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1.
I left my weekend solace that they couldn't wait to leave It was an empty promise What they were after they said soon would be gone And so I floated backward and waded the lake to see Where they would be hereafter And all along you know I said it was wrong Velocity Beach you never dropped your anchor It wasn't even water A life supply of faster All and along they said it was wrong Just barely in reach you never thought beyond it You made it supersonic And now you race upon it And all along I said it was wrong I had a senseless direction until it was facing me Nobody had to tell me when one leg is stuck you should chew it 'til it's not And so I waited faster the days laying waste to me Another undisaster Broke and alone at least I still was at home Velocity Beach you never dropped your anchor It wasn't even water A life supply of faster All and along they said it was wrong Just barely in reach you never thought beyond it You made it supersonic And now you race upon it And all along I said it was wrong
2.
They caught me wearing flowers and now they know my power But my exotic headdress will put them all at rest They wait around my building I think they're trying to scare me But my exotic headdress will make all of them run And where did all the birds go that were singing at my window I put them in my headdress where they sing under duress This is my exotic headdress My recipe for success Although you think you may be ready I've got to disagree with that You know it's hard to have this power Being enamored every hour They always say I'm overzealous but I know that they're really jealous Would you believe it when you'd seen it if you had seen anything less And when I put myself to bed nightingale landing on my head In daylight I put sugar on it to get a bee into my bonnet This is my exotic headdress My recipe for success Although you think you may be ready I've got to disagree with that Look at my exotic headdress It's my measure of the best Although you're thinking you may want one I doubt that you could handle it It makes me semi-catatonic But it's completely ergonomic Someday I'll be at a point in my life when I could hang it up Then you could work it out for yourself Or you could fight among yourselves to decide Who'd get the hat in the event I should die could you divide it up But then you forgot did you not that you'll definitely never really get it 'Cause when they put me in the ground Through all the dirt raining down you'll see that it's still on me My sensational finale This is my exotic headdress My recipe for success Although you think you may be ready I've got to disagree with that Look at my exotic headdress It's my measure of the best Although you're thinking you may want one I doubt that you could handle it If you had my exotic headdress My exotic headdress
3.
Don't say hello, say Jambo
4.
Thirty seconds prior to Fred Frazier's death He hadn't begun to tire when he drew in a breath The final breath that would blow the famous masterful notes And an unexpected embolism straight to his head Twenty seconds prior to Fred Frazier's death He was about to retire but they'd never forget He put a hush to the crowd Who had been talking aloud It threw an unexpected embolism straight to his head Ten seconds prior to Fred Frazier's death He was just smoking like on fire from his musical depth His former bandmates had stopped their jaws all totally dropped It threw an unexpected embolism straight to his head Thirty seconds prior to Fred Frazier's death Who would have known he'd expire before ending the set But now his song had arrived at what he couldn't survive It threw an unexpected embolism straight to his head Half a second prior to Fred Frazier's death He was a half a second higher than his musical best That solo totally fried and he was ready to die From an unexpected embolism straight to his head
5.
Djibouti 00:57
Hey, what's the capital of Djibouti? Djibouti. Where are the people in Djibouti? In Djibouti. Djibouti, Djibouti. What's the size? What's the shape? It's relatively small and relatively round. That's what I like about Djibouti. Shake that landscape.
6.
Unfancy Bill 04:31
It's Bill, plain Bill Fixing things around the house when he can Leaving them broken when he can't It's Bill, unfancy Bill Going to work bright and early He eats corn beef hash in the evening It's Bill, family man Bill He plays Santa Claus at Christmas time Most of the kids seem to like him It's Bill, high fidelity Bill He stayed true to his wife for just as long as he could Lasted over a month and no one thought that he would It's Bill, Dead drunk Bill Stumbling home on the sidewalk Watch him fall to the ground when he can't walk. But then, fate twisted in He found a local policeman now he's Spending the night in the drink tank But that said don't be misled He's as straight as can be He's a picture of civility He can still blame his tourette's It's Bill, quick to rage Bill He shot the dog across the street when she barked He said he put her out of his misery It's Bill, Dead Beat Bill He gambled away his daughter's college account Now she refuses to call him And look at all the stuff he took From his elderly neighbor who lives alone She'd call the police but he took her phone That said don't be misled He's as great as can be He's who he wants to be And you still may be sad when he's dead With a night of drinking over He heard a neighborhood kid call him William "Don't call me William!" Call me Bill
7.
Incubate 02:13
8.
Day one I was about to turn and run Why didn't she hold my hand I thought that she had found a femme fatale approach to life But then I noticed it happening again She snuck a desirous look At someone walking by who batted an eye Right back at her I can't take it too hard cause her train's from another station But I wish I had known things that I know now It's much too late to start to try to change her orientation But how was I to know then that she didn't go the way I go She liked other girls Go and mull it around until you know I said as I left alone But there was no defense for me to bring her senses back again And though it wasn't as if there weren't hope Maybe she went both ways But it was hard enough competing with half of humanity I can't take it too hard cause her train's from another station But I wish I had known things that I know now It's much too late to start to try to change her orientation But how was I to know then that she didn't go the way I go She liked other girls I can't take it too hard cause her train's from another station But I wish I had known things that I know now It's much too late to start to try to prod her imagination But how was I to know then that she didn't go the way I go She liked other girls
9.
Hip Hop 01:32
Hip hop it's the music I was born to love Hip hop it's what everybody's dreamin' of When I play my hip hop the amusement never stops 'Til I drop yo ass flat with my bullet single shot Hip hop it's the music I was born to love Hip hop it be fittin' on me like a glove When I'm bustin' out a rap All the women in my lap They all listen to my rhyme Look at me I'm good at dat Hip hop it's the music I was born to love Hip hop it's what everybody's dreamin' of You don't have to be black Look at me I'm tenure track Though I'm white as I can be Country's never coming back
10.
When they came to check my sole effects All they found were voided starter checks In my pocket only pocket lint Leaving all my trust in the government When they came, when they came
11.
Trouble 03:17
Trouble I never knew enough to look back I played the part of myself in the parade of my silent thoughts But now I'm nervous there won't be any room to react I laid the foundation plot in the delight of my favorite parts Officer Goodman had a part for me And it's too bad you're telling me but he ain't the director Trouble he never read the right to rehearse So much for my second sight I was born to direct and to bask in all the glory This is my apocrypha it's what I couldn't do what they didn't like My surprise anathema for what I choose to do when I'm out on my bike Trouble I noted he was pallid and fat I chose a stark backlit drop waving his stick in looming silhouette He had emotion but can he shoot any better than that I rode away to my house calling a wrap through my megaphone All those nuts wish they had another tree But you can tell those nuts to listen up I'll see you on the big screen Trouble I never knew enough to look back I played the part of myself in the parade of my silent thoughts
12.
Are you missing the feeling From the next generation they stopped with the mosh pit You feel so important still but you're not, you're not When the newness is gone pack it up and split The moment you can 'cause it won't get any better While you're ahead do us all a favor and turn your insight off When the music is gone don't get all upset And act like you would if you never had suspected Battle ahead they've taken all the mics away but dance while you still can When the newness is gone you should take the straight shot out You found the answer now but turned it inside out You've got the bucket brigade together bailing you out It's a shame but they ain't got long When the melody howls in a sufficient attempt To turn a woeful go to a resentful went Is it a holy disaster your direction is spent is it pain to be lost and gone When the newness is gone how can you placate The masses of unsuspecting people you've been calling Reticent now they won't be so complacent when you belt the first note out With the mystery gone can you keep afloat In the wake of a hope that you knew to be in passing Be glad what you had The shining light around you has a switch to turn it off When the newness is gone you say later could be better but I'd hate to wait that long When the newness is gone you should take the straight shot out You found the answer now but turned it inside out You've got the bucket brigade together bailing you out It's a shame but they ain't got long When the melody howls in a sufficient attempt To turn a woeful go to a resentful went Is it a holy disaster your direction is spent is it pain to be lost and gone When the newness is gone You say later could be better but I'd hate to wait that long
13.
Down With the Fascist Bastards No went the hollow distractors On went the marching yellow ribbon flashers No went the falling police On with the headstrong and hollow The folks in the back they just follow To an eminent disaster Why couldn't we have just stayed home Down with the martial artists I doubt they could even perform well Will they forget their martial power If someone told them to stop Do we get extra credit If we claim to regret it But no one will know who said it In the directors edit Down with the metric opponents I was just getting used to English But I'm sick of converting distances to football fields When it's the worst it gets They drag us before the supreme tort Down With the Fascist Bastards No said the hollow distractors On went the marching information stashers No went the falling regime On with the headstrong and hollow The folks in the back they just follow To an eminent disaster Why couldn't we have just stayed home

credits

released April 15, 2005

All songs written, performed, recorded, and mixed by Chris Tullar

Album cover art by Chris Tullar

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Carpal Tullar Asheville, North Carolina

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