President of the Neighborhood Association

from Horse of a Different Tullar by Carpal Tullar

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lyrics

I've got bushes in my yard 30 inches from my house
Oh, I'm a good citizen I'm focused on my lawn
I cut all my crooked branches I never smoke at home
I shovel snow from the sidewalk until it's three feet wide
I fold my Tar Heel flag into a triangle
When it's out of use I hide it from my son
I've got my sprinkler system on a timer I only water at night
Though some would say I'm fortunate to be here
I earn my keep, my position on this street

But there's something on this street that doesn't smell nearly as sweet
Winnebago in the driveway that hasn't moved in weeks
When it comes to grass and neighbors I think most will agree
I know when I see a hybrids and when I see a weed
Your name came up last weekend in a meeting
And what was said wasn't nice
I find your lack of dogs a bit unnerving
Your personality dry
And your TV can be seen across the street
And you don't use Christmas lights

I'm the president of the neighborhood association, my consecration
I'm the grandson of the law and I'll catch you up
I'll walk to your house and I'll confront you to
give you another notice of what you owe this time
I will keep everything like everything else

We've all noticed your Caprice leaking something on the driveway
A neighbor down the street noticed your check engine light
And as I drove by your house several times the other night
I happened to look up and could see into your blinds
And yes I see you mow your lawn in circles
The other lawns are in lines
What were you thinking hanging up your laundry
Out on a line to dry
For what it's worth you can still worship the Earth
But you'll have to be inside

I'm the president of the neighborhood association, I'm losing patience
I'm the grandson of the law and I'll catch you up
I'll walk to your house and I'll confront you to
give you another notice a final notice
I'm gonna keep everything like everything else

credits

from Horse of a Different Tullar, released March 15, 2017

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Carpal Tullar Asheville, North Carolina

carpaltullar.com

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